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Movies & TV

22nd Aug 2018

22 really obscure Father Ted quotes that only hardcore fans use

Paul Moore

Use any of these? Let us know your favourites.

Every single person in Ireland loves Father Ted, but what separates the hardcore fans from casual ones is their ability to remember, dwell and perfectly imitate particular lines, and how they’re delivered.

Granted, even the people on Rugged Island know quotes like “Down with this sort of thing (Careful now)”, “That would be a ecumenical matter”, and “The money was just resting in my account”, but what about the real niche stuff?

Here are some of our favourite gems.

1) Get them fecking Crunchies out of the car!

Said by: John to Mary

The secret meaning: When you’re pissed off at someone but your anger goes in some really petty and hilarious places.

TomMaryCrunchies

2) Bye girls, pair of wankers.

Said by: Father Stack to Ted’s visitors.

The secret meaning: Father Fintan Stack really should be Pope. Most of his other lines are more well known, but it’s the sheer pettiness and hatred of this one that makes the list.

fintanstack

3) Adios Ted!

Said by: Father Hernandez to Ted.

The secret meaning: It’s all about saying goodbye with swag. It also helps if you’re rocking some shades and leaving in a sports car. Extra points for blaring the techno music.

4) You were up on an 80 year old man, riding him around and whipping him for 60 minutes.

Said by: Father Ted to Dougal.

The secret meaning: When you’re the only person that understands just how weird your friends really are.

5) Larry’s tremendous fun.

Said by: Father Ted to Larry Duff.

The secret meaning: When you’re desperately trying to convince your mates that one of your friends is good fun, but they’re really a tragic mess.

Larry Duff cards

6) You wouldn’t find Hitler playing jungle music at three o’clock in the morning.

Used by: Father Ted about Fintan Stack

The secret meaning: There’s an absolute lunatic in your midst and you’ve no bloody idea what to do with them.

Clip via – Dougals Rabbit

7) Sure I wouldn’t know. I’m from Donegal.

Used by: Father Shaft to Sister Monica.

The secret meaning: When you haven’t got a feckin’ breeze about what some people are talking to you about.

Clip via – Alan Monks

8) Wellthatsthebusinesslikeyouknow

whatimeanyouknowinandoutthedoorsandgiddyup!

Said by: A clearly drunk Fred Rickwood to Father Ted.

The secret meaning: Whatever the hell you want it to be…once it ends in a ‘giddyup’.

TedRickwood

 9) Flipper the Priest!

Said by: Father Ted about Jack.

The secret meaning: Your one friend that’s happy to go along with your own strange brand of lunacy.

10) Good luck with the book.

Said by: Father Ted to Polly Clarke

The secret meaning: You’ve no idea how to end an awkward conversation that you’ve somehow found yourself trapped in.

Book

11) How’s the son?

Used by: Dougal to Bishop Brennan.

The secret meaning: The incredibly awkward moment when all you really want to talk about is the EXACT opposite of what you shouldn’t.

12) FUCKING HELL!

Said by: Graham Linehan (off screen) after The King of the Sheep scandal unfolds.

The secret meaning: None. Just make sure that you end end any conversation with this.

Clip via – Scarface92511

13) Ah, he was brilliant.

Said by: Father Ted about God.

The secret meaning: You’re struggling to describe just how remarkable something truly is.

fatherted3

14) Milk gets sour, you know. Unless it’s UHT milk. But there’s no demand for that because it’s shite

Said by: Mr Fox to Dougal.

The hidden meaning: When it comes to expressing just how shitty things can be. Remember, it’s all about the pronunciation.

15) You’re a FINE young fella.

Said by: Fr Noel Furlong to Dougal

The hidden meaning: You’re really overenthusiastic to meet someone.

NoelD

16) God it’s lovely out.

Said by: Dougal to Ted

The secret meaning: It’s fucking dreadful outside, but you’re still game for a laugh.

17) If you ever try to bullshit me like that again, I’ll rip off your arms.

Said by: Bishop Brennan to Ted

The secret meaning: You want to cut to the very core of someone that you’re having an argument with.

BrennanBath

18) ARSEBISCUITS!

Said by: Jack to Bishop Brennan

The secret meaning: You’re pissed off and clearly too angry to think straight. Just put any two words together, be grand.

19) And now on BBC1, Jurassic Park: The Director’s Cut, with extra dinosaurs.

Used by: The BBC continuity announcer after Latin mass has ended.

The secret meaning: Life is all about small wins. Enjoy them when they come around.

20) Em, it’s hanging fine Larry.

Said by: Father Ted to Larry Duff

The secret meaning: Your friend has said something that’s utterly strange and you’ve no idea how to respond.

Larry Duff Show

21) I CAN HANDLE IT TED!

Said by: Father Billy ‘The Spinmaster’ O’Dwyer to Ted.

The secret meaning: You know that you’re a mess, but you’re trying so hard to hide it from everyone else.

Spinmaster

22) I’ll be off then Padre. Off on my rounds

Said by: Pat Mustard to Father Ted

The secret meaning: The only way to leave any room, discussion, meeting etc. It doesn’t matter if you’re just after receiving good, bad or indifferent news, there’s always a Mrs O’Reilly to ride somewhere.

Cue the music.

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Topics:

Father Ted,TV