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22nd May 2023

Succession Power Rankings: Church and State

Simon Kelly

Succession Power Rankings: Church and State

It’s a big drop from the top.

Welcome back to the penultimate entry in our Succession power rankings. I’m not crying, you’re crying!

The family finally say goodbye to their dearly beloved father and it seems like he’ll rest easy in his cosy tomb/mansion while the rest of America scrambles around the big mess his company has made.

There’s only an hour and a half left of Succession – the clock is ticking. Let’s see how the second-to-last power rankings shake up this week.

9.  Logan (Presumably spinning)

If anyone came off the worst in this episode its the main man himself. Unable to defend himself on account of being dead, Logan Roy has some pretty awful words pelted against his good name at his own funeral, by his own brother and his own children.

He did, however, get a great deal on that giant mausoleum, so who’s really laughing?

8. Roman

Succession Power Rankings - episode 9 - Roman

Having the second worst day, just slightly better than his dead dad’s, is The Great Pretender himself. Looking pumped up and ready to do his best Logan Roy impression and wow the crowd of mourners, when it comes to the main event the youngest Roy crumbles into a sobbing, hysterical mess. Pre-grieved he is not.

At the end of the day, Roman has had enough of looking down on the mess he created from his high tower and wanders off into the danger-ridden streets of New York City, only to get absolutely clattered minutes later. Poetic.

Props must go to Kieran Culkin for making a 40-year-old man look like a terrified 12-year-old boy for almost the entirety of this episode.

7. Greg

You had one job Greg – stop your grandfather for speaking at his brother’s funeral. You didn’t even attempt to rugby tackle him to the ground before he reached the mic.

On the bright side, he did score a coveted pallbearer spot for the casket, so he’ll be in the history books whether the Roys like it or not. Say what you want about Greg the Egg, but the man always shows up.

6. Tom

One man who didn’t turn up this week is sleepy boy Tom. All he wants is to get away from everything for a few hours and luckily, Shiv offers him some respite in their apartment so he can catch a few Z’s while the world burns around him. Was that just Shiv being nice or some sort of calculated attack? Honestly who knows at this point, I don’t even think she does.

Either way, Tom’s position at ATN is looking a bit shaky with Darwin set to resign and who knows if Mencken will pay any gratitude to him for calling the election in his favour. Have a rest, Tom, we’re sure it will all blow over in the morning.

5. Matsson

A tall, blonde, European goes face to face with a fascist potential-president this week and it’s hard to tell who comes out the victor. Either way, it’s everyone else who’s screwed, so who really cares?

Throwing in the American CEO pitch to Mencken, it’s clear to see Matsson and Shiv are well and truly on the opposite fence of the Roy boys. The India numbers seemed to blow over conveniently enough but Ebba is still playing both sides. The Swede isn’t out of the woods just yet.

4. Logan’s former flames

Caroline, Marcia and Kerry have formed a rather sweet supergroup of Logan’s exes and it really is one of the more touching things we see this episode.

While Kerry has had an awful time of it, the writers would never be harsh enough to leave her in her small apartment for the rest of time. She was brought out once again and this time, she wasn’t belittled by Marcia, but rather comforted and brought to the front row. Logan Roy is dead, but the women in his life live on – they’re the real winners.

3. Shiv

“Yes?” “Yes.” “Blimey.” “I know.” “Well I never.” “Well then.” “Thank you.” “Exactly.” Such a beautiful moment captured between Shiv and her mother upon finding out about her pregnancy this week.

Despite the whole baby issue, Shiv is all go and she’s probably the most tactically astute of the Roys throughout the funeral procession. Firstly making a big play for the American CEO of Matsson’s Waystar acquisition and then tiding things over well with Mencken. Her allegiances are out in the open and she may well thrive there.

2. Mencken

Still waiting on those pesky courts to name him the most important man in America, Mencken doesn’t really need that title to still give off the air of self-importance. Noticeable gasps are heard when he arrives at the funeral and his infuriating eye-brow raising during the conversations with Shiv, Matsson and Kendall make everyone know that this guy has the upper hand on everyone.

Maybe it’s the far-right tendencies, but we don’t trust him one bit.

1. Kendall

Succession Power Rankings - episode 9 - Kendall

Everybody is dumb but Kendall. That is, of course, according to the man himself. Starting off the episode standing in front of his ex-wife’s car to block her and the children leaving the city for their literal safety and ending it in the most powerful position possible, Kendall seems to be feeding off the misery of everyone else like a creepy, CEO vampire.

Ever the opportunist, the Roy sib quickly takes over from Roman’s babbling mess of a speech, with his own off-the-cuff, absolutely not planned at all speech that ends up bringing the house down. He’s got it, what it is we don’t quite know, but he’s got a plan and he’s kind of terrifying us. It’s a big drop from the top, Kendall, better watch out.

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