We're sure their Mammy's very proud...
Ahead of the release of the critically-acclaimed Irish film Calvary, JOE brings you some of the finest and funniest quotes from the movie making brothers John Michael McDonagh (Calvary, The Guard) and Martin McDonagh (In Bruges, Seven Psychopaths).
Living legend Brendan Gleeson and John Michael, having worked together previously on the phenomenally funny The Guard (2011), have teamed up once more as Gleeson (now almost officially known as ‘Domhnall Gleeson’s da’) plays Father James, a good priest tormented by his small-town community, with one particular anonymous parishioner threatening to kill our holy hero in exactly one week’s time.
It’s less of a whodunit and more of a who’s-going-to-do-it as Gleeson prepares to meet his maker in this powerful and blackly comic Irish drama.
Let's hope you're not easily offended as the brilliant McDonagh bros have a tendency to make insults incredibly funny, as this superb selection of ten terrific take-downs ably demonstrates...
Calvary (2014, dir. John Michael McDonagh)
Anonymous parishioner: I’m going to kill you Father.
Father James: Certainly a startling opening line.
http://youtu.be/8UlI6wJzOpc#aid=P-Mdobqda_E
The Guard (2011, dir. John Michael McDonagh)
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: What a beautiful fuckin’ day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acImLyQaMHk
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Maybe they're for killing little Protestants...
Kid: Killing little Protestants? That's funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOF1GJimMJI
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I’m Irish sure; racism is part of my culture.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrOVH-bLrq8
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Ah would you f*ck off to America with your appropriate f*ckin' Barack Obama...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05dHqRbhhlk
In Bruges (2008, dir. Martin McDonagh)
Ray: What exactly am I trying to say? Yous are a bunch of fucking elephants!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaPzN2gD3PQ
Harry's wife: It’s an inanimate fucking object.
Harry: YOU’RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PN6xemdjik
Ken: Coming up?
Ray: What's up there?
Ken: The view.
Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.
Ken: Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole world.
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn't, so it doesn't.
Ray: One gay beer for me and one normal beer...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4vLFwWosCM
Seven Psychopaths (2012, dir. Martin McDonagh)
Paulo: Put your hands up.
Hans: No.
Paulo: What?
Hans: I said no.
Paulo: Why not?
Hans: I don't want to.
Paulo: But I've got a gun.
Hans: I don't care.
Paulo: That doesn't make any sense.
Hans: Too bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yHYAG01aaY
Marty: That’s just f*cking greeeeaaaaat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QjTSnaqUX4
Marty: How are you ever gonna get a job, Billy, if you break the director guy's nose before you even got the part?
Billy: I didn't mean to break his nose. His nose was just in the middle of where I was punching.
Tommy: You ever shoot a guy in his eyeball?
Larry: I stabbed a guy in his ear once, ice pick. Right in his f*ckin' ear.
Tommy: Yeah, see, that’d be a different subject. That’d be ears.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95pXhLJFLhI
Calvary is in Irish cinemas from Friday 11 April.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UlI6wJzOpc&feature=youtu.be#aid=P-Mdobqda_E
JOE also caught up with the star and director of the film, none other than the living legend that is Brendan Gleeson and the wickedly talented John Michael so
make sure you check out the interview here.
