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Movies & TV

11th Apr 2014

“What a beautiful f*ckin’ day” and twelve more quality quotes from the movie making McDonagh brothers

We're sure their Mammy's very proud...

JOE

We’re sure their Mammy’s very proud…

Ahead of the release of the critically-acclaimed Irish film Calvary, JOE brings you some of the finest and funniest quotes from the movie making brothers John Michael McDonagh (Calvary, The Guard) and Martin McDonagh (In Bruges, Seven Psychopaths).

mcdonagh bros

Living legend Brendan Gleeson and John Michael, having worked together previously on the phenomenally funny The Guard (2011), have teamed up once more as Gleeson (now almost officially known as ‘Domhnall Gleeson’s da’) plays Father James, a good priest tormented by his small-town community, with one particular anonymous parishioner threatening to kill our holy hero in exactly one week’s time.

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It’s less of a whodunit and more of a who’s-going-to-do-it as Gleeson prepares to meet his maker in this powerful and blackly comic Irish drama.

Let’s hope you’re not easily offended as the brilliant McDonagh bros have a tendency to make insults incredibly funny, as this superb selection of ten terrific take-downs ably demonstrates…

Calvary (2014, dir. John Michael McDonagh)

Anonymous parishioner: I’m going to kill you Father.

Father James: Certainly a startling opening line.

The Guard (2011, dir. John Michael McDonagh)

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: What a beautiful fuckin’ day.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Maybe they’re for killing little Protestants…

Kid: Killing little Protestants? That’s funny!

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I’m Irish sure; racism is part of my culture.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Ah would you f*ck off to America with your appropriate f*ckin’ Barack Obama…

In Bruges (2008, dir. Martin McDonagh)

Ray: What exactly am I trying to say? Yous are a bunch of fucking elephants!

Harry’s wife: It’s an inanimate fucking object.

Harry: YOU’RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!

Ken: Coming up?

Ray: What’s up there?

Ken: The view.

Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.

Ken: Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole world.

Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn’t, so it doesn’t.

Ray: One gay beer for me and one normal beer…

Seven Psychopaths (2012, dir. Martin McDonagh)

Paulo: Put your hands up.

Hans: No.

Paulo: What?

Hans: I said no.

Paulo: Why not?

Hans: I don’t want to.

Paulo: But I’ve got a gun.

Hans: I don’t care.

Paulo: That doesn’t make any sense.

Hans: Too bad.

Marty: That’s just f*cking greeeeaaaaat!

Marty: How are you ever gonna get a job, Billy, if you break the director guy’s nose before you even got the part?

Billy: I didn’t mean to break his nose. His nose was just in the middle of where I was punching.

rockwell

Tommy: You ever shoot a guy in his eyeball?

Larry: I stabbed a guy in his ear once, ice pick. Right in his f*ckin’ ear.

Tommy: Yeah, see, that’d be a different subject. That’d be ears.

Calvary is in Irish cinemas from Friday 11 April.

JOE also caught up with the star and director of the film, none other than the living legend that is Brendan Gleeson and the wickedly talented John Michael so make sure you check out the interview here.

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