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24th March 2025
03:07pm GMT
The sound of someone walking behind us on a dark evening.
The fear when a car slows down on the path next to us.
The danger of leaving your drink unattended in the pub.
The increase in your heart rate when a man won't leave you alone on a night out despite you asking him to, politely of course because the fear of angering them is there too.
Women have always carried the burden of protecting ourselves from harmful men. We carry keys in our hands as we walk down the road after sunset, we send our taxi driver's details with our friends 'just in case' and ensure we're as careful as can be after a night out.
Doing these things is second nature to us, but that sadly doesn't stop some men from scaring, harming, or attacking women.
The danger has always been there and a recent incident involving influencer Chloe Koyce has proven just that.
The influencer was returning home to her Dublin hotel after a night out and she did everything right to ensure she was safe.
Chloe and her friend Lauren Whelan were "very thorough with our safety" with Whelan watching her friend walk into her hotel to make sure she was safe.
However, that sadly didn't stop a man from following the influencer into the hotel.
The man was standing extremely close to the friends when she was saying goodbye to Lauren at her taxi.
Chloe explained that the man was lingering near them but she didn't realise it at the time. She said the name of her hotel to Lauren and he followed her.
"Obviously, I’ll be more aware next time. This guy, whoever he is, heard me say the name of the hotel."
She said he managed to slip through the hotel doors after her and followed her into the lift.
"I know I keep thinking back and blaming myself and I shouldn’t," she shared in the emotional video.
"In the milliseconds of her taxi taking off and my door about to close, this man slid into my hotel."
Chloe explained that there was nobody on reception or any security around at the time of the incident.
Luckily, her mother was in their hotel room but she didn't know what to do when he followed her into the lift. She said she didn't want to scare her mum so decided to record the man just in case anything happened.
Chloe said he was holding a belt in his hands when he followed her into the lift.
She shared a clip of the sinister moment on her Instagram.
"I had a few drinks but I wasn’t very, very drunk but also I feel like if I was any way sober I would have started screaming but I think I was afraid to show him I was scared."
He followed Chloe out of the lift and toward her room, but left when she started knocking on the door.
"I think, thank god my mam was in that room because if I used my keycard to get into my room he would have 100% pushed in behind me and he’s obviously way stronger."
The pair then barricaded the door and phoned reception to alert them.
They told Chloe they presumed the man was with her and that he was her boyfriend.
"I think a lot more could have been done on the hotels side. There should be security. That’s what I’m trying to get out of telling you this."
"What more could we have done in that situation? Do we have to carry self defence weapons? God only knows. Thank god my mam was there."
Chloe has reported the incident to the Gardaí but hearing her story has reminded many women just how dangerous this world is.
Chloe and Lauren did everything right. They were careful, cautious and did what any other girl would've done after a night out with friends.
Why is it our responsibility to protect ourselves from sinister men like the one who followed Chloe Koyce?
Why does society expect women to carry the burden of protecting ourselves from dangerous men?
Don't wear that dress because it's too short.
Don't get too drunk on a night out.
Don't flirt with him too much he might get the wrong idea.
Don't walk alone in the dark.
The blame, the responsibility, and the burden are not ours to carry. Men are the ones who need to change.
The question shouldn't be 'What can we do to protect ourselves?' but 'What should men do to make to make this world safer for women?'
