This would make our lives a lot easier…
We brought you the news earlier that there are going to be new premium options on Tinder that will give you a better experience on the app. Tinder CEO Sean Rad says there will be upgrades but he was being all secretive and refused to tell us any of them.
So because the Radster (that’s what we call him now) was keeping quiet, we decided to get our thinking caps on and we’ve come up with six new features that would make Tinder better for all of us.
1. Zoom out feature
It’s pretty hard to tell what somebody looks like when the camera is so close to their face that you can see into their pores. Pan that camera out and show us what you really look like.
2. An option that prevents family members appearing on your feed
Your family probably know how tragic your love life is anyway; there’s no need to reaffirm it by appearing on their Tinder as a possible match. It’s also very weird. We’d pay for that option.
3. An automated feature that will instantly delete and report someone who writes like this – “hw r u?”
Text speak is dead, get on with your life. You are an adult now, you need to learn to spell properly and if us un-matching you is the lesson you need, we’re glad to do it.
4. Extra filters which will allow you be more specific about who shows up on your feed
The only options up there at the moment are distance away from the person and the age bracket but there needs to be more.
Maybe options like cheating person, single, divorced, angry ex still on the scene, 10+ kids at home, can stand properly after beers, won’t eat your chips that you bought even though you offered to buy them some and stuff like that can be possible filters.
5. You get a five-second window after you match someone so you can change your mind
If you’ve been using Tinder for a long time you probably have become a bit bored with it and that’s when the forensic attention you used to give people’s profile goes out the window.
Your standards drop and you end up matching someone who isn’t “your type” and then it gets super awkward because they know you matched, you then un-match and then they know you un-matched. Ugh, that’s ‘awky momo’ stuff.
The solution to all of that is a five-second review window where you can accept or decline the match. Simples.
6. The app will recognise when you’ve become obsessed with it
If you’re sitting there for hours on end swiping and you’ve ran out of people to potentially match, you’ve gone too far. If this happens, you need a break and we’d love if people could be put in Tinder jail.
You can get back out there in there after two days or else you have to make bail which will cost you. That’s actually a good idea. Copyright!
If there’s a new premium feature you’d like to see on Tinder, make sure to comment.
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