Well that was rather boring wasn’t it?
23.25: And with that, that’s our lot for the night folks, the Konoplyanka deal not coming off summing up what was a pretty dull deadline day overall. Thanks for tuning in and like Jim White, we’re off to our cryogenic chamber until the last day of August. Good night and good luck!
23.22: Sky Sports saying that Konoplyanka deal is definitely OFF.
23.20: Konoplyanka is fast becoming the Odemwingie of this January’s transfer window, simply because his name is of a similar length and it’s been mentioned as often as Odemwingie’s was last year. Obviously Konoplyanka didn’t turn up at an opposition team’s training ground, hang around in the car park and generally make a fool of himself, but you know what we mean.
23.10: Sky Sports News now saying the Konoplyanka deal is off. If they could make up their minds so we can all go home sharpish that would be nice.
23.07: Nobody seems to know what’s going on at Anfield. Anyone, anyone, Bueller?
I don’t have an answer on Konoplyanka. I’m not sure anyone does yet.
— Ben Smith (@BenSmithBBC) January 31, 2014
23.03: Tony speaks for all of us…
Aaaaaaaaghhh! It’s 11pm, the window’s closed & the Konoplyanka deal is still up in the air. Why Merseyside?!
— Tony Barrett (@TonyBarretTimes) January 31, 2014
23.00: THERE GOES BIG BEN!!
22.57: A deal for Yovhen’s Konoplyanka’s move to Liverpool is close-ish according to Sky Sports. Won’t be done before 11pm but will probably be done tonight.
22.55: QPR confirm loan signing of Will Keane, the eighth player the Red Devils have sent out on loan TODAY. And Larnell Cole and Ryan Tunnicliffe still possibly heading to Fulham. Signing of Keane bad news for Kevin Doyle at QPR?
22.52: News of a signing for West Brom, they’ve snapped up Thievy Bifouma on loan from Espanyol until the end of the season. LESS THAN 10 MINUTES LEFT PEOPLE!
22.42: Sky Sports are saying that Sky Italia are saying that Manchester United are saying there’s no way Nani is going to be allowed to join them on loan. Just saying.
22.35: No more yet on Liverpool and Konoplyanka, but John Heitinga has joined Fulham from Everton. You guessed it, on loan.
22.29: ‘Loan’ is certainly the buzz-word of the January transfer window and Rene Meulensteen may yet to be about to raid his old club Man United for Larnell Cole and Ryan Tunnicliffe for the rest of the season.
22.17: A couple of loan deals to tell you about. Manchester United ‘keeper Sam Johnstone has joined Doncaster Rovers on a month’s loan and Swansea have secured the loan signing of Marvin Emnes from Middlesbrough, as they did four years ago.
22.06: Great news Fulham fans, Senderos’ move to Valencia is actually permanent, he’s not coming back to the Cottage. That is good news isn’t it?
22.00: Tony Barrett seems to be a pretty reliable source on Konoplyanka and Liverpool and here’s the latest
Plenty saying a deal’s been done for Konoplyanka but no agreement has been lodged with the Premier League. One hour to go………
— Tony Barrett (@TonyBarretTimes) January 31, 2014
21.57: Philippe Senderos is on his way to Valencia on loan. Can’t imagine they signed him because of his defensive abilities, maybe it’s because they know he’s not afraid to get dirty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYTcf55B-oY
21.50: By the way, Gael Kakuta has joined Lazio on loan from Chelsea. It is Kakuta’s sixth loan move from the Blues and he is now the 30th, yes the 30th, player currently out on loan from the club.
21.45: A few suggestions on Twitter that Konoplyanka is doing a medical ahead of a Liverpool move and that they’re pushing for more time to get the deal done. More as we get it.
21.37: Or maybe there’s some life in that deal yet, Liverpool-based Times correspondent Tony Barrett isn’t expecting an early night.
Two deadline days on the run have gone right to the wire on Merseyside. Grim.
— Tony Barrett (@TonyBarretTimes) January 31, 2014
Last time it was Barry, McCarthy, Lukaku & Fellaini. This time it’s Konoplyanka. And on a Friday night of all nights.
— Tony Barrett (@TonyBarretTimes) January 31, 2014
21.23: Worryingly for Liverpool fans, there doesn’t seem to be much happening as far as their pursuit of Yovhen Konoplyanka is concerned. Is it too late at this stage?
21.05: Finally some news of substance folks. Scott Dann has signed a three and a half year deal with Crystal Palace and Dimitar Berbatov has joined the club he seemed always destined to join… Monaco. It’s only on loan, but suffice to say, he’ll fit right in.
21.00: A perfectly, eh, normal scene over at the Etihad. Absolutely nothing to see here (via Nathan Murphy).
20.45: When even Harry Redknapp can’t get excited by the Deadline Day, you know it’s been a slow one.
@JOEdotie #BreakingNews Harry Rednapp caught sleep walking outa Loftus Road.Its finally caught up wit him #LongDay pic.twitter.com/xulJGw9vri
— User_Unknown (@Postman_Paddy) January 31, 2014
20.41: Speaking of Manchester United, remember Federico Macheda, the Italian striker who scored THAT goal against Aston Villa in 2009 and has done pretty much diddly-squat since? Yeah, him. He’s gone to Birmingham City on loan.
20.34: So about those reports that have apparently surfaced in Spanish media about Chicharito
Stories that #MUFC have loaned Javier Hernandez to Valencia are complete rubbish
— James Ducker (@DuckerTheTimes) January 31, 2014
20.21: Who needs outside presenters and c-list guests when you can talk to players who might be on the move themselves. Leeds United captain Ross McCormack has just been on (the phone to) Sky Sports News talking about the sacking of Brian McDermott and a potential move to Cardiff City. A bit bizarre but hey, we’ll take all the excitement we can get.
20.10: The best picture of Jim White you’ll see all day (via @YouvebeenHodged)
Jim White #YouveBeenHodged pic.twitter.com/pGwxiCz9mO
— You’ve Been Hodged (@YouveBeenHodged) January 31, 2014
20.03: Look at him there with his hairy hands in his Arsenal shirt
You can also check out exclusive pictures of our new signing Kim Kallstrom here: http://t.co/tExDIEq2e0 #WelcomeKim pic.twitter.com/ZT1Z5MwusZ
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) January 31, 2014
20.00: Our thoughts exactly
We have gone beyond. pic.twitter.com/uUY9EgGx9h
— Football Clichés (@FootballCliches) January 31, 2014
19.54: It might say a lot about the quality of today’s deadline day but the biggest story of the last few hours, Lee Cattermole’s proposed move to Stoke, could be back on after originally appearing as if it was dead in the water. Watch this space. No really, it’s a big deal, Seriously.
19.43: Kim Kallstrom’s loan deal with Arsenal has been confirmed people. Might not be the deal that Gooners wanted but he’s better than no-one right? Riiiiggght?
19.35: You’ll probably have realised that there has been precious little actual transfer news in the last while, but wait for it, Cardiff are making a last-ditch effort to bring in… Adam le Fondre from Reading. So yeah, still not much actual news then.
19.30: And you thought you were having an exciting deadline day.
Busy day in London. Final job is to get my ears moulded for my TV ear-piece! pic.twitter.com/b21UKjdmlX
— michael owen (@themichaelowen) January 31, 2014
19:28: No you’re not Robbie, admit it, as soon as you took the photo you switched back over to Sky Sports News…
Watching deadline day on the red button @bbcsport pic.twitter.com/eSGQE0pd4T
— Robbie Savage (@RobbieSavage8) January 31, 2014
19.20: Way to put Piers in his place random Leeds fan
@piersmorgan look up the M1 at us in Leeds, realise what you have and shut the fuck up moaning you clown. Admire your gun stance though!
— Paul Grimley (@LPP2014) January 31, 2014
19.09: A few Arsenal fans might be angry at their lack of major action today (sorry Kim) but the vast majority of them don’t have the financial means of one Piers Morgan…
Hey Arsene, I’ll lend you the damn extra money for Draxler. Stop being so tight and COMPETE. #Afc
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 31, 2014
19.02: Just under four hours to go and with Jim White due on Sky Sports News in an hour or so, he’s now in the final stages of the thawing out process having been kept freezing in a cryogenic chamber since midnight on August 31.
18.45: A few interesting titbits from the Guardian’s Daniel Taylor – again – that may interest Man City and Man United fans…
Word out of Portugal is that Man City didn’t even get close to Porto’s £ demands for Fernando and Mangala #MCFC
— Daniel Taylor (@DTguardian) January 31, 2014
Old problem for #MCFC: selling clubs know City are super-rich, so add a premium. On this occasion, City walked away.
— Daniel Taylor (@DTguardian) January 31, 2014
On subject of Fernando, #MUFC have said – pretty strongly – behind the scenes they were not interested in him.
— Daniel Taylor (@DTguardian) January 31, 2014
18.40: Lee Cattermole is going nowhere. That’s not a ridiculously harsh appraisal of his career to date, merely the latest from Sunderland amid reports of a possible move to Stoke.
18.35: Sky saying that Kim Kallstrom has completed his Arsenal medical. Swede.
18:30: Joe Ledley to Crystal Palace? The Eagles would want to get a move on…
My mate @cheesy290892 just bumped into joe Ledley at Glasgow airport and he’s said he’s cutting it fine #cpfc pic.twitter.com/kkuVDVSq4v
— Gary (@GaryCPFC) January 31, 2014
18.23: Dani Osvaldo to Juventus on loan is done and done. Himself and Pirlo in the same team? *Swoons*
18.21: Jesus, the lower league clubs are awful craic on Transfer Deadline day, just look at this from Accrington Stanley. As it is obligatory to say whenever that name is mentioned… ‘Who are they?’
The #asfc transfer war chest has been raided for a #DeadlineDay swoop – #quietday pic.twitter.com/EwX4K2mQub
— Accrington Stanley (@ASFCofficial) January 31, 2014
18. 15: Interesting line from Daniel Taylor on Tom Ince over on the Guardian’s deadline day blog. “One of the many clubs Thomas Ince has spoken to reporting that the problem is, well, Paul Ince, and what he is asking for his son.” Paul Ince, the Guv’nor himself, proving difficult to deal with? Well I never…
18:10 As flagged by Sky Sports News a little earlier, some nice, self-deprecating humour from the Crawley Town Twitter account
Paperwork’s done. Helipad ready. Just need three squiggles. Can anyone help with phone numbers? #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/Zps7B6wkiG
— Crawley Town (@crawleytown) January 31, 2014
18.04: Dani Osvaldo on his way to do his medical at Juventus earlier. That man is one smooth basta*d…
17.39: Crystal Palace. Leon Best. Mooted interest. Never gonna happen.
17.36: Stoke have agreed to take Lee Cattermole off Sunderland’s hands and the player will now undergo a medical. Hopefully the medics will remember to make him wear a Hannibal Lecter-style face mask and handcuffs. Check for hair clips.
Always check for hair clips.
17.35: Is it possible to love Jurgen Klopp a little bit too much?
17.28: Some actual news – Stoke have apparently made an offer to Blackpool to sign Tom Ince permanently. How has he not signed for anyone yet?
17.20: It really is the hope that kills you, isn’t it?
17.15: Do you reckon former Fulham reserve Adel Taarabt looked in the mirror today and said, in Moroccan, “how the f**k did I manage this?”
16.59: We missed it, but apparently Uncle Avram said something about Demba Ba being in prolific form this season.
He has one goal.
Come back Simon Jordan, all is forgiven.
16.52: Liverpool are looking at Spurs flop Nacer Chadli, assuming the whole Konoplyanka thing go arseways.
16.47: Gary Neville has followed Luke Shaw, Dejan Lovren and Jack Cork on Twitter. Maybe they’re all joining Sky?
Speaking of Sky, Avram Grant is on now, looking like somebody’s defeated uncle.
16.43: West Brom are looking to bring Wes Hoolahan in on loan, thereby scuppering the Villa. Wonder if this is a reaction to Wednesday night’s defeat?
16.40: BREAKING: Yevhen Konoplyanko is reportedly in Kiev getting a visa for his current club’s (don’t make us spell it out, please? OK then) Europa League clash against yadda yadda yadda…
Upshot: Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk still expect him to be on their books tomorrow.
Whoopsie.
16.32: Rings a bell.
Just recalled that Wes Hoolahan isn’t 1st Irish footballer to insult Norwich. Keith O’Neill said best thing about place was road to London.
— Neil O’Riordan (@noriordan) January 31, 2014
16.27: It’s gone quiet, oh so quiet (oh do shut up, Bjork), so let us refer you to this picture of Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart living it up before the Superbowl.
16.08: This. Obviously.
16.05: Kevin Doyle has joined QPR until the end of the season.
15.43: BREAKING: A fourth bid has come into Norwich for Wes Hoolahan, but the nice Sky Sports News has confirmed that it has not come from Aston Villa.
Our money’s on Palace. Or Fulham.
15.41: DONE DEAL! Dead ball specialist Jason Puncheon completes a permanent move from Southampton to Crystal Palace.
Oh, go on then:
http://youtu.be/Xb55sUDljCk
15.32: DONE DEAL! Fulham are having a good day, following up the signing of Lewis Holtby with that of Kostas Mitroglou. Rene Meulensteen seems on bringing the average age of the Cottagers’ starting line-up down to a more moderate 53.
15.12: This one, from Sean Curneen, seems a nailed on certainty.
“My cousin Pat cleans freshwater barnacles off river cruisers in Carrick-on-Shannon and text me earlier to say he spotted Arsene Wenger outside the Leitrim Gaelic football training session yesterday evening. The Arsenal manager was soon disappointed, however, after discovering he was admiring Leitrim’s sallow skinned ace, Emelyn Mulligan and not Luis Suarez, who was rumoured to have made a surprise appearance at the county training in Páirc Seán Mac Diarmada. A few of the Liverpool players were apparently at Raheem Sterling’s stag party in the north-western county over the weekend.”
14: 57: Are Arsenal fans happy at the prospect of Swede Kim Kallstrom joining the club today? Not exactly
@itvfootball: Arsenal fans, would you be happy if Kallstrom joins?” I would rather prefer Kim Kardashian
— George ge Ahammadhu (@AhmedMarzooq) January 31, 2014
14:50: The glamour of Deadline Day, as exhibited by this tweet from Sky
#SSN production team in the mud and rain at Stoke’s training ground for Deadline Day – the waiting game goes on pic.twitter.com/mXeGON12f5
— Sky Sports News (@SkySportsNews) January 31, 2014
14:43: No sooner had the ‘Micah Richards to Liverpool’ rumour hit the ether and Brendan Rodgers has already shot it down. Ah well
14.19: Tim Sherwood has just confirmed that Tottenham will not be signing any players in this window. That should leave Liverpool clear to complete the Konoplyanka deal, barring those complications.
14.13: Brendan Rodgers stalls like a lad who doesn’t want to ask out the girl behind the counter in Spar.
On Konoplyanka: “No update. There’s obviously an interest. It’s a little bit complicated.”
Meanwhile, Harry’s finally doing his thing.
14.04: This just in from Matt Dolan. Could Edgar Davids be heading to St. Pat’s?
“Friend of mine is a personal shopper in Brown Thomas on Grafton St. Walking by a changing room he has seen the unmistakeable silhouette of Edgar Davids. He claims he heard the voice saying “So what is this Inchicore place really like?”
“Fresh off the Fahey coup looks like St.Pat’s have landed the signing of the century!”
13.51: DONE DEAL! Emmanuel Frimpong is no longer an Arsenal player, and none of this loan business either. He’s joined Barnsley for an undisclosed fee.
AFC thank you for the memories thanks for the support thanks for the Love.I wish the team wins the league this year.Forever will be in my ❤️
— Emmanuel Frimpong (@IAMFRIMPONG26) January 31, 2014
13.40: Surely it’s not the fault of the poor intern looking after the Newcastle United Twitter account that Joe Kinnear’s been napping again?
13.35: Salomon Kalou and Kallstrom to Arsenal? It’s a long way from Draxler and Morata.
13.28: Damn you, Hernanes, damn you for making us FEEL!
This is the now former Lazio midfielder breaking down in tears as he leaves the training ground for a new life with Inter Milan.
13.19: David Moyes confirms that Juan Mata is the be all and end all at United this summer. No more signings at Old Trafford.
Meanwhile, there’s talk of Kim Kallstrom at Arsenal. Check out this picture of him and ‘a friend,’ some years back, thanks to Old School Panini on Twitter.
13.15: Chelsea continue to stockpile players for next season’s League Cup campaign with the news that young defender Kurt Zouma has joined from St. Etienne on a five-and-a-half year deal.
13.06: There’s only place to start, and it’s at… ehm… Fulham? Yes, Fulham, who have snapped up Lewis Holtby from Spurs until the end of the season. A good signing if he reproduces his Schalke form. A shocking ‘meh’ signing if he reproduces his Tottenham form.
