The farce at Chelsea and the ghosts of managers past

A 6-1 win to mark the lowest point in a club's modern history. Sounds like the stuff of comedy. Paul Dempsey went to Stamford Bridge to see the show for himself.

It was early for a pantomime but it had all you'd wish for. They booed the bad guy when he came on, they booed him every time he came to the touchline to tinker, and they booed him off at the end, even though they'd won 6-1.

In between, when they weren't watching slapstick missed penalties or clowning Nordsjaelland defenders picking the ball out of their net, sections of the Chelsea crowd chanted for Roberto Di Matteo, and this time there were even banners calling for the return of The Special One.

As a spectacle I'd have to put it above Jedward at the Olympia even if I'd still take Linda Martin over Roman Abramovich as the one to make everyone's wishes come true.  The problem is that the Russian's magic wand doesn't seem to be working. The crowd are booing him, or at least his judgement, and he won't take kindly to that. But which of the acolytes in his "inner circle" is brave enough to look him in the eye and tell him straight; you just won't be able to magic a happy ending to this show, Roman?

Just one of the many banners at Stamford Bridge this week

He's smart enough to see this for himself. Any man who ends up owning a good portion of Russia's natural mineral wealth should be able to work it out. But there are some things that even he must be exasperated by. Like the fact that his team have made football history of the worst kind, becoming the first defending European champion to exit before Christmas.

Surely a huge blow to the ego of a man who has control over so much, and over so many people's destiny. He may even feel bemused that try as he might, money and influence cannot give him control over everything. When this Benitez pantomime season is over (every game is sold with the warning "It COULD be the last ever performance") Abramovich will still be fuming.

Our scene shifts to the Rockerfeller Centre in Manhattan, where we find a man doing his best to remain anonymous. He's not working this pantomime season. He sits reading the papers in the New York winter sunshine, checking on the sports news from Europe, where he learns that Roberto Di Matteo has been sacked, before returning to the business section of the Wall Street Journal, as he continues to try to broaden his already fertile mind. But he sits slightly more uneasily now, half expecting the phone on the table to ring.

Only here can one of the most high profile of Europe's sporting figures find something resembling peace and quiet, oddly, an unknown among America's teeming masses, at once hoping and fearing a phone call. He had made up his mind already that if the phone did ring, his answer to Abramovich would be no. But that wasn't the call he was hoping for. While Chelsea refused to turn back, others weren't so proud.

When Brazil under Mano Manezes failed to win Olympic Gold in the summer, a well known Brazilian TV commentator turned to me and said "he is finished". He actually survived three months, in the only job in the whole world that is, truly," Mission: Impossible".

In Brazil, winning the World Cup is the bare minimum job requirement for the national coach. To have any long term chance, you have to win in style. And when you are about to host the tournament, you may as well be working for 200 million Abramovichs

In Brazil, winning the World Cup is the bare minimum job requirement for the national coach. To have any long term chance, you have to win in style. And when you are about to host the tournament, you may as well be working for 200 million Abramovichs, each with expert knowledge of the game, and their own opinion. A truly thankless task, but still, one that Pep Guardiola kind of fancied.

He was reportedly put up to it by the publisher of one of Brazil's many sports papers, Lance, and a campaign started as soon as word leaked that Menezes was on  his way. Sadly for Pep, the phone didn't ring. Instead the CBF chose a former Chelsea manager. Enter, or Re-Enter, Luiz Felipe Scolari.

Brazilians always know there's a crisis when he gets the job. Last time he was installed as a genuine national catastrophe loomed. Brazil looked like failing to qualify for the 2002 World Cup. Scolari arrived with the words "It will not be pretty but we will do everything, and I mean everything, to make it".

He was true to his word. It wasn't pretty, they did make it, and although no-one knew how, they went on to triumph in the final amid unforgettable scenes, a mad carnival of disbelief. Of course, he was still on his way when it was over, on his way to meet Mr Abramovich. Look how that turned out.

But who knows, if he wins the World Cup again, maybe his phone will ring again. It could happen. The pantomime comedy will end up as farce. Abramovich will still be looking, because Pep doesn't look like answering his call any time soon. And who can blame him?