Jim White’s phone is at 100% battery power, the Sky Sports roving reporters are boning up on their martial arts, and Harry Redknapp’s car window is nicely oiled.
It’s Transfer Deadline Day, so on with it.
The Manchester United squad has been trimmed by a factor of two, with Fabio and Wilfried Zaha both joining Cardiff on permanent and loan deals respectively.
However, that’s all just piffle in comparison to the rumour that David Moyes is eyeing a move for England superstar/Tottenham plodder Andros Townsend. The Sun claims that the United boss has been a fan of the winger for some time, but that he’s unlikely to bring him to Old Trafford until the summer.
One more line from United – Javier Hernandez is staying for now.
**Breaking News: The Blackpool dream team is a reality as Andy Keogh joins on loan from Millwall to team up with the no longer 14-year-old Freddie Adu**
It looks like Julian Draxler will be staying with Schalke until at least the summer, so thanks for that Arsene. However, the Arsenal manager is still likely to do some business today as he eyes up moves for Cristian Tello (decent), Alvaro Morata (never gonna happen) and Kim Kallstrom (what?).
In fairness, the latter is probably as a reaction to the news that Aaron Ramsey is out for six weeks with knack.
Celtic have accepted a bid from Crystal Palace for Joe Ledley, which should distress Bhoys fans as much as it excites Palace fans. We’re big fans at JOE Towers.
West Ham are trying to sign Kostas Mitroglou from under the noses of Fulham.
Newcastle have been snubbed by Clement Grenier, with one absolutely outrageous whisper claiming that Alan Pardew could move for the Irish Pele to replace Yohan Cabaye. Yes, Andy Reid.
We’ll put that one in caps in case you missed it: ANDY REID TO NEWCASTLE, ANYONE?
Finally, to Liverpool. Yevhen Konoplyanka, known to many as the Ukrainian Andy Reid, says he is “excited” by the prospect of joining the Reds, so expect to see him being smuggled into White Hart Lane by the time the WINDOW SLAMS SHUT at 11pm tonight.
P.S. Dimitar Berbatov to Monaco? Really?
P.P.S. Keep an eye on our Transfer Deadline Day blog from lunchtime onwards...
