Transfer Talk: It's transfer deadline day, let the silliness commence!
The end of the silly season is almost here, as the transfer window inches closed on the greedy fingers of the few who haven't organised themselves up until now
Well, in case you haven't heard or were living under a rock last night, Gareth Bale is staying at Tottenham.
Ah we're only messing, he's off to Madrid for a big pile of money, where he'll be paid loads of money and the number on the back of his shirt will read '£$€' and he'll sleep on a bed made of money at night.
But it seems that Madrid, despite having spent all that money (did we mention the money?) are not finished yet as they're going to slap on the balaclava, put on a stripy jumper and launch a raid on Anfield, demanding that they hand over Luis Suarez, but they'll be met with a similar demand to hand over another pile of cash, around £45 million.
The guys in charge of the fax machine at Real Madrid are going to be very busy indeed, as it seems that Kaka is on the way out too. He will rejoin AC Milan on what is believed to be a free transfer, while Fabio Coentrao, despite Ancelotti saying otherwise, is lining up a loan move to Tottenham. Their special relationship is really working out well for both parties. We, for one, wish that we had a special relationship with a friend who massively overpaid for our used goods.
But they're not finished yet! Arsenal are also looking to get Angel Di Maria from the Madrid club, who might need to offload people from the wage bill and get a bit of cash in to keep the accountants happy, while the London club are also looking at bringing in Abel Hernandez of Palermo.
It wouldn't be transfer deadline day without a little cameo from the one and only 'Arry “Wheeler Dealer” Redknapp, as he looks to go to Spurs and take Emmanuel Adebayor and Benoit Assou-Ekotto to QPR. We presume they will be struggling to pinch the pennies together for that one.
In even further Tottenham news however, young Tom Ince (did you know that his dad is Paul Ince?) is very close to signing with them, but will stay until the end of the season on loan with Blackpool.
In other news, Kagawa could be on the move today seeing as he's not getting game time at Manchester United with PSG rumoured as a possible destination, West Brom defender Gabriel Tamas could be headed to Crystal Palace, along with Leonardo Ulloa from Brighton, Fabio Borini could be on the move to Sunderland on loan for the season (where we presume he will receive many kicks up the arse from Paolo Di Canio) and, seeing as it's transfer deadline day, we'll have a live blog later this afternoon to keep up with all the funny business going on.