Transfer Talk: Kagawa off to Atletico, Hummels in at United and Arsenal want Quintero

The sooner this transfer window is shut the better for all our collective sanity.

Shinji Kagawa is being tracked by Diego Simeone from Atletico Madrid. We're not sure about you, but being tracked by a man who looks like he could feed you to his pigs is a slightly terrifying prospect for anyone. Kagawa hasn't really found his form in Manchester so maybe a move to Madrid will kick-start his career. With Juan Mata seemingly in pole position for the number 10 role, it looks like Kagawa could be off to Atletico in a £14m deal according to the Daily Express. The Daily Mirror have resurrected an old chestnut in the 'Hummels is going to United' category with their 'Hummels is going to United' story. Despite Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp laughing his head off last week at the prospect of Mats Hummels (pic above) going to United in a £20m deal, the story is that he's going to United in a £20m deal. They report that Dortmund have enquired to Liverpool about taking their Portuguese central defender Tiago Ilori on loan. Ergo, according to the Mirror, Hummels is off to United or he'll stay or sign for Bayern. Arsenal have been quoted £32m for Porto's Colombian midfielder Juan Quintero. The player who was impressive at the World Cup is said to be on Wenger's radar according to the Daily Express. Now JOE can't get the image of Wenger in his bat-cave wearing his budgie smugglers surveying a big radar with players popping up every so often. Arsenal had hoped to pay only £16m, but Porto said they could only have half of him for that price and not the good half. Sam Allardyce is in talks with Samuel Eto'o (pic above). No, they're not planning a duet for the Eurovision, Allardyce is hoping to persuade the Cameroon international that his future lies at Upton Park. Given that Eto'o is now 79, there's not much of a future to talk about. The Times reckon though, that a deal could be on the cards if Big Sam mentions bingo and knitting. The Daily Mail say that QPR will ramp up their bid to sign Marseille star Morgan Amalfitano as move for Kolbeinn Sigthorsson (pic above) from Ajax stalls over personal terms. The real problem there is the fella in the club shop who prints the names on the jerseys couldn't learn how to spell Sigthorsson's name. Of course, he immediately handed in his notice when he heard they'd switched their attention to Amalfitano. Brendan Rodgers is a man with a mission. That mission, which he has chosen to accept, is to spend every last cent of the Suarez money on absolutely anybody with a pulse. He is hoping to bring in not one, but two Spanish players. The lads in question are Alberto Moreno and Javier Manquillo. Moreno from Sevilla is a long-term target and is available for £20m. Manquillo from Atletico Madrid could be available on a two year loan deal. We're off to check out Arsene's bat-cave.