Transfer Talk: Schweinsteiger off to United, Reina going to Arsenal and Alex Song told he can leave Barca

Today's Transfer Talk features, yep, you guesses it, a Bayern Munich player linked with Manchester United.

Louis van Gaal is running out of Bayern Munich targets which each one linked and then signing a new contract with Bayern five minutes later. Van Gaal has spotted that Bastian Schweinsteiger hasn't signed a new contract and the Daily Mirror reckon he'll be off to Old Trafford for £23m. They are qualifying this by saying "Schweinsteiger could be tempted to leave after Thomas Muller was told he's integral to Pep Guardiola's plans." So, apparently, Thomas Muller staying at Bayern is such an affront to Bastian Schweinsteiger, that he's decided to go elsewhere in a big huff. Expect Bayern to announce a new deal with Schweinsteiger in about 11 minutes time. Pepe Reina, the Yul Brynner of goalkeepers is bringing his shiny dome to the Emirates according to The Metro. Reina has been rejected by Napoli, ignored by Liverpool and now could be on his way to Arsenal for a cool £5m. The goalkeeper is currently in Brazil with the Spanish World Cup squad applying factor 50 on to his mallet. No actual links in the story or sources, but you know the drill by now. Player out of favour, clubs like players in general, stick on your Sherlock Holmes deerstalker and you have got yourself a link and a sensational story. Actual man giant,  Romelu Lukaku (above), who spends more time on loan than a decent lawnmower, has told West Ham to get stuffed with their lofty notions of bringing him to Upton Park. The Belgian striker, according to the Daily Mirror, has told Chelsea he will only sign for a club that can offer him European football. Sam Allardyce counteracted by saying "West Ham is in London. London in in England. England is in Europe. Therefore, we will be playing European football." Allegedly. Lukaku is now confused and said to be demanding a move to Vietnam. Talksport, who talk a lot about sport, are telling people that Barcelona have instructed Alex Song's agent to find him a new club. The spineless Barca board couldn't say it to his face and sneakily sent a text to his agent at all hours saying 'Dear Song agent, tell Song to do one. LOL Barca x x'. Of course, because Song was linked with a move to Manchester United a couple of seasons ago, that's enough for them to surmise that he is definitely, 100 per cent, no doubt about it, swear on the Bible, ask anyone if you don't believe me, going to Manchester United. Liverpool are reportedly after 18-year-old Max Meyer from Schalke, if you believe the Daily Express. The youngster, who narrowly missed out on the German World Cup squad, is being hailed as the new Mario Goetze so he'll probably end up signing for Bayern Munich for an exorbitant fee and play three matches next season. The Express reckon that Liverpool could snap him up for £8m and then sell his name on to the James Bond franchise as a villain. The Daily Telegraph are reporting that Montpellier chairman Louis Nicollin is furious with Newcastle. The club, not the city. Newcastle are after their player Remy Cabella who is with France at the World Cup and Nicollin is telling us that they've been "treated like idiots" and that their £8m bid is "derisory". Newcastle, who only have one scout and he lives in France, are not put off and are determined to insult Montpellier further by offering them Alan Pardew head butting lessons. We're off to Vietnam to avoid the steely glare of Big Sam. Poetry.