Here at JOE we're all about quality over quantity...
It's a real-life science fact that less is most certainly more and so, here at JOE, we've compiled a list of six very handy suggestions to help you streamline and smooth out your day-to-day life. Trust us, following these snippets of advice will help you no end...
Your online activity...
It's our advice that you have just one email address instead of the 15 you still currently own. We know this is hard for you to hear but no one is emailing you at FuntimeJOE@Aol.com anymore. Apart from that mysterious yet surprisingly friendly Prince who wants to give you a cheque for €50,000 of course...
In the bathroom...
Toilet paper. You don't really need us to get into detail here do you? Needless to say, it's all about quality over quantity when it comes to bathroom hygiene. Plus, if it's good enough for ridiculously cute widdle puppies then it's good enough for you. Just don't use it after the dog's been lying in it obviously...
Your manky socks...
Throw out all 37 pairs of your old socks.
There's certainly no need to keep all of the foot-gloves you've received from Santa Claus since you were an 8-year old child. Sure, we realise that they're your lucky socks but they really are starting to smell funny...
Grooming...
To prepare yourself for the perfect night out you'll certainly want to look washed and well-groomed. JOE's expert advice? Have yourself a super smooth shave. Your face is not disposable so why is your razor?
You’re not an acne-covered 14 year old anymore, so forget about buying 18 packets of cheap, tacky disposable razors that are lying in the reduced section of your local supermarket – opt for the Gillette Mach 3 Turbo razor instead with its fancy pivoting razor head that follows every contour of your face (or, in JOE’s case, every chin on our face) for outstanding comfort and closeness.
In your love life...
Dedicating yourself to just one girlfriend is a much better relationship plan instead of having legions of lovers. We know that you're a sexy stud-muffin but believe us, it's much easier to remember the name of one lovely lady as opposed to the eight that you might be attempting to woo at any one time.
Julia, great to see you! *Slapped face*
Margaret? *Slapped face*
It's Jemima, right? *Slapped face*
Repeat ad nauseam...
The perfect cup of tea...
Forget about the multiple cups of tea you have at work or the bucketfuls of brew that you buy in your local newsagents, you really cannot beat the quality of that one perfect cup of tea. You know the one... preferably made for you by your Mammy as you settle into the 3rd hour of your much-loved Home And Away omnibus...
