PICS: The man with the biggest penis in the world has one unbelievable problem with it
Boy, can we relate to this story.
Shut up. Stop laughing, we can.
Meet Roberto Esquivel Cabrera. He's supposedly the man with the world's largest penis, the owner of a whopping 18.9 inch trouser snake.
Unfortunately for Roberto, however, he has one unbelievable problem when it comes to his monstrous Mexican manhood; women are too afraid to have sex with him due to its gargantuan size.
As a result, Cabrera is actually quite lonely and, in addition to his womanly woes, he also wants his penis to officially be classified as a disability, especially as his genitalia gets in his way a lot and he's unable to hold down a job.
His penis, you see, hangs down well below his knees.
That's right, well below his knees. Not around his knees or just above his knees. Well below his knees.
A doctor who examined Cabrera's appendage, explained that the main part of the penis is just over 6 inches long and the rest is extra skin.
Here's an X-ray they took of The Beast, just in case anyone was in any doubt.
Jesu Christe, that thing looks just like Norway.
Prior to Roberto coming forward to call himself the 'Man With World's Longest Penis', it was believed that an American man, Johan Falcon, was the proud owner of the title, with a penis measuring a paltry 13.38 inches.
Here Johan, maybe this will do as a consolation prize now that Roberto's kicked your ass...
Images via and hat-tip to The Mirror