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19th Feb 2016

Tesco’s new croissants totally go against the whole point of a croissant

Carl Kinsella

This shouldn’t be allowed.

The word ‘croissant’ is French for the word crescent. You know, the shape of the moon when you can’t see most of it, or the Cheshire Cat’s smile.

Well, Tesco don’t seem to care about that, because they’re about to implement a huge change in their pastry policy: they’re only going to be selling ‘straight’ croissants – which by its very nature is impossible, as you simply can’t have a straight crescent.

So I guess these will have to be called…

straight tout droit

“Tout droits”.

Apparently the reason behind the move is that people prefer straight pastry as there is more spreadability once the curvature is removed. It’s all physics, really…

So if you only want straight croissants, soon Tesco will be the place for you.

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Topics:

Tesco