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05th Sep 2013

Venezuela’s World Cup hopes go down the toilet as squad struck down with ‘explosive diarrhoea’

If you thought that the Irish squad are on tenterhooks ahead of their World Cup qualifiers, spare a thought for the Venezuelan squad that has been struck down with diarrhoea.

JOE

If you thought that the Irish squad are on tenterhooks ahead of their World Cup qualifiers, spare a thought for the Venezuelan squad that has been struck down with diarrhoea.

While the Irish squad have it all to do against Sweden and Austria, the Venezuelan squad have much bigger problems at hand, with 20 of their 24 man squad having spent a considerable amount of time on the jacks this week.

Venezuela coach Cesar Farias has a problem, a real dirty and foul smelling problem on his hands with a stomach virus that has ripped through the squad.

“They didn’t have a good night and they weren’t able to train well,” he told the local press.

Lying in sixth place in the table ahead of their clash with Chile – who are five points ahead of them in the play-off position – this could see their own aspirations of making Brazil for next year’s tournament go down the toilet.

Chile for their part are rumoured to be claiming that they smell a rat – a very smelly rat – and could be forgiven that it is nothing but the Venezuelan management having the shi*s and giggles to gain a psychological advantage.

Hat-tip to Who Ate All The Pies