Can you identify with these?
The weekend is upon us which means that most people will throw away their dull Monday to Friday routine and embrace some absolute madness.
We reckon that the majority of people are creatures of habit though which is why we’ve drawn up this list of things that most Irish lads are looking for on a Saturday.
1) A lazy lie-in
There’s something truly beautiful about not having to get up at 7am and step outside into the cold weather.
I swear to god, that wind and rain is just waiting outside my door with its stupid face that I want to punch so much.
Not today though. Weather and work, you can feck off because I’m not leaving this place.
2) Fry-up
When you’re hungry, there’s nothing better to receive than a full Irish breakfast that’s just waiting to be devoured.
Even Leonardo Da Vinci couldn’t create something as beautiful as the sight of sausages, rashers, pudding, egg, beans, toast and a steaming cup of tea.
3) Decent TV
This is one of the rarest things to find because most of the TV on Saturday morning is dull and repetitive.
Thank god for Soccer Saturday though because Chris Kamara can brighten up any day. A small Netflix marathon wouldn’t go amiss also while you veg out on the couch.
Clip via – Jamie Pike
4) A nearby bookies
We all have one friend that could be stranded in the Sahara while wearing a blindfold yet still manage to find their way into a bookies of a Saturday.
These people are usually the people who can’t walk past a bookie without going inside for a small €5 bet.
5) A reply from your mates
If you’re trying to organise a night out then there’s always one person that’s dragging their heels. I swear to God, it’s easier to get blood from a stone than it is to get a text back from this lad.
They’ll probably just stroll into your front room or the bar at whatever time suits them best. Not a care in the world.
6) A winning accumulator
Your weekend bet can either make or break your mood, depending on the results. There’s no better feeling than seeing €5 magically turn into much, much more and the guarantee of a good weekend. Viva life!
On the other hand, every gambler has a completely rational hatred for one particular team because a last-minute goal cost them a mini-fortune and ruined an amazing accumulator.
Hartlepool United, I hate them so much.
7) Cans
Usain Bolt wouldn’t beat you in a race to the off-licence at 21:58.
There’s two minutes left before the place closes and you’ll be damned if you can’t get your hands on a few tins.
8) Last minute winner on FIFA
If you can manage to win a game of FIFA with a last-minute goal then your friend will never hear the end of it.
It’s the stuff that dreams are made of. Plus, you can torture your mate for the entire night with the memories of your glorious win.
Make sure that the loser doesn’t throw a hissy fit like this though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uB_8fuSCSQ
Clip via – Anouar21
9) Mischief
While we’re certain that you’re all well-behaved boys and girls during the week, Saturday night is the time to act the maggot. This being said, we all know one person that could cause chaos in a convent.
The best thing about these people is that they genuinely don’t try to wreak havoc, things just ‘happen’ when they’re nearby.
It’s a gift.
In their heads, these guys probably think to themselves, ‘it’s 21:03. Right , I think it’s time for me to do something like this’.
10) ATM
Like a fart in the wind, your money just vanishes on the weekend. Therefore a few trips to the hole in the wall are a must.
11) The shift
There’s no point denying it because most of the people out on the tiles at 01:13 are looking to ‘lob the gob’ off of someone they fancy.
Just be real smooth, suave and classy about it. This being said, one of your friends is probably happy to kiss anything with a pulse.
12) Your mates
Much like gravity, the sun rising and the fact that Arsenal’s season will crumble after Christmas, one person in your group will always go missing in a nightclub as the closing hour approaches.
No need to worry though because, much like a dog that’s lost, they’ll always manage to find their way home.
13) An after party
There’s always craic going on somewhere else. Always.
The sign of a true ‘sauce warrior’ is if you can somehow manage to get an invite into the home of a complete stranger for a few more drinks.
We salute you.
14) A place to sleep
Bed, floor, couch, car, bathtub. Once there’s a roof over your head it’s grand.
15) Dignity
This is a complete myth because there’s no need for it. In the famous words of Liverpool’s 2013/14 season, ‘We Go Again’.
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