The Ed Wedding.
To begin with, let's get the necessary statements out of the way.
Ed Sheeran seems like he's a very nice guy. Ed Sheeran is an incredibly successful musician. Ed Sheeran has quite a lot of haters.
People want Ed Sheeran to die...in Game of Thrones.
See, we're not lying.
https://twitter.com/Longyman/status/841235552473120768
https://twitter.com/lp_costello/status/841227744763604993
With news that the Grammy Award winning singer will be
starring in the new season of the world's most beloved show, plenty of people have already been speculating about what his role might involve.
While any information about Sheeran's cameo is being more closely guarded than Cersei Lannister, we're predicting a gory end.
Based on what we've seen so far in the show here are 13 gruesome ways that Ed could end up dead.
To use one of his own songs, I see fire...and blood. Spoiler alert klaxon.
1) Decapitated like Ned Stark.
Valar Morghulis: Not a great time to lose one's Ed. Geddit, geddit (We'll leave you alone forever)
2) Eaten alive by Ramsay Bolton's dogs.
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: We presume Ramsay's dogs are still at Winterfell. They must be hungry. Light snack perhaps?
3) Hanged like Olly.
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: What's the 'Shape of You' there, Ed? Dead, he's dead. Ed's dead.
4) The Ed Wedding.
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: It writes itself.
5) Stabbed repeatedly by the Night's Watch.
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: Most likely to happen if he leaves Taylor Swift's 'squad' and gets labeled as a traitor.
6) Eyeballs are gouged out like Oberyn Martell.
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: The Mountain vs The Sheeran. Eye popping results.
7) Hammer in the head.
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: To paraphrase his song Lego House "I'm gonna pick up the pieces and...lodge a hammer into your skull." Not as catchy but you get the message.
8) Turned into a human pin-cushion with arrows, just like Ygritte
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: Odds on the two ginger characters meeting their maker in the exact same way? #JusticeForGingers
9) Thrown out The Moon Door
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: Thrown out of the castle on the hill. Irony, eh?
10) Poisoned and choked to death like Joffrey
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: Even Ed's haters have to prefer him to Joffrey.
11) Burned at the stake like Princess Shireen
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: Despite James Blunt's best attempts at clearing this up, Princess Beatrice allegedly hurt the singer when 'knighting' him.
Things could be worse, Ed could be Princess Shireen. Stannis really is father of the year material.
12) Turned into a White Walker
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: To paraphrase Jon Snow, "The Long Night is coming, and the Ed comes with it." What is Ed may never die.
13) Dying on the toilet like Tywin Lannister
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die: Even if you hate Sheeran, no man deserves to die on the toilet. That's just not right.
All things considered, we're expecting Ed's head to end up on a spike. Then again...
He could end up on the Iron Throne. We have to wait and see.
