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Movies & TV

07th Dec 2022

The “eighth best movie ever made” is among the movies on TV tonight

Rory Cashin

If you’re going to watch a movie, it might as well be one of the best movies ever made.

Your Wednesday evening movie menu has arrived, starting with…

Fantastic Four – FilmFour – 7.05pm

There are about 10 good minutes in this movie, when Doctor Doom returns to Earth and starts popping heads all over the place. Everything else is quite bad.

Demolition Man – TCM – 9pm

Stallone stars in this cheesy, campy sci-fi action movie set in the crime-free future of 2032 (yeah, right), as an old-school cop who is thawed from an ice prison to track down a terrorist (Wesley Snipes, having an absolute blast).

Under Siege – FilmFour – 9pm

Steven Seagal’s best movie, where he plays a chef who is actually a top-tier secret soldier in this Die Hard-on-a-warship action movie. Huge amounts of fun. It also very nearly didn’t get made because of one tiny (and very-paused) scene.

US Marshals – ITV4 – 11pm

No idea why this movie seems to be on ALL of the time lately. The semi-sequel to The Fugitive stars Tommy Lee Jones, Wesley Snipes, Robert Downey Jr. and more.

Mulholland Drive – FilmFour – 11.05pm

Our pick for the night is the eighth best movie ever made, according to the recent Sight & Sound poll.

David Lynch’s extremely unnerving psychological drama focuses on a woman (Laura Elena Harring) who suffers from amnesia following a car crash, and the aspiring actress (Naomi Watts) who tries to help her piece together her life.

It also happens to feature one of the greatest jump scares in cinema history, so prepare yourself for that.

Police Academy – TCM – 11.20am

The first (and best?) of the comedy series about a group of misfit trainee police officers, starring Steve Guttenberg and Kim Cattrall and that guy who could make all of the sounds.

We Summon The Darkness – FilmFour – 2am

A horror movie about three best friends who head off on a road trip to see a heavy metal gig, and things… don’t go well. 68% on Rotten Tomatoes means it is probably okay, but maybe not worth staying up until 2am for?