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Movies & TV

17th Jun 2017

Anchorman’s original plot is completely different to the famous film we know and love

It could have been oh so different.

Paul Moore

By the beard of Zeus!

When it comes to developing a script, diversity is a key ingredient. Now, we all know that Ron Burgundy thinks that this means we’re talking about an old, old wooden ship that was used during the civil war era, but who are we to question the greatest journalist of all time?

Anchorman is an absolute classic because when you’re watching it, it’s clear that the entire cast are so comfortable improvising whole scenes and that’s where the real magic comes from.

To be honest, watching Anchorman is better than dousing yourself in Sex Panther cologne (by Odeon!), going out for a nice seafood dinner with Dorothy Mantooth and downing some scotch.

To quote Brian Fantana, “I’m very aroused” just even thinking about how good it is.

Well, as much as we love the random adventures of the Channel 4 News Team, it turns out that things could have been a lot different for Ron Burgundy and co.

In an interview with The Ringer, Will Ferrell revealed that the film was almost not set in a whale’s vagina, better known as San Diego.

“The first version of Anchorman is basically the movie Alive, where the year is 1976, and we are flying to Philadelphia, and all the newsmen from around the country are flying in to have some big convention. Ron convinces the pilot that he knows how to fly the charter jet, and he immediately crash-lands it in the mountains. And it’s just the story of them surviving and trying to get off the mountainside.”

In typical Anchorman fashion, things take an absolutely batshit crazy turn that involves Chinese throwing stars and orangutans.

Ferrell adds: “They clipped a cargo plane, and the cargo plane crashed as well, close to them, and it was carrying only boxes of orangutans and Chinese throwing stars. So throughout the movie we’re being stalked by orangutans who are killing, one by one, the team off with throwing stars. And Veronica Corningstone keeps saying things like, ‘Guys, I know if we just head down we’ll hit civilization.’ And we keep telling her, ‘Wrong.’ She doesn’t know what we’re talking about. So that was the first version of the movie.”

We wonder if Ron was ever tempted to tell Veronica that she’s a “real hooker” with “a dirty whoreish mouth.”

Truth be told, we can definitely see elements of that original idea that managed to make their way into the final film.

For example, who can forget that scene when Brick was riding on top of that bear which he described as a ‘furry tractor’ at the San Diego Zoo, or Brian Fantana’s breakdown at the ‘panda jerk’.

See, animals are the enemy in that film, aside from Baxter of course.

As for the use of throwing stars, well, we’re fairly certain that they were used during this bloodbath.

Stay classy.

Clip via – Rodolfo Tobias

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