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28th October 2015
10:10am GMT
JOE: What’s the one song that gets you fired up?
Otherkin (Luke): Right Here, Right Now by Fatboy Slim. I used to listen to that song to get me all riled up before I’d play a GAA minor game. Ah, memories.
JOE: Can you remember your first kiss?
Otherkin (David): Yeah, it was pretty grim. I was 14, and hadn't quite shed my puppy fat yet. Myself and my mates were at Spin disco in Leisureplex, Blanchardstown, and some girl asked me if i'd meet her mate. Wide open mouths, slobbering tongues, sure I was only delighted with myself.
JOE: Have you a celebrity free pass?
Otherkin (David): Not in the traditional sense. But if Zoë Kravitz (below) is reading this by any chance, let me just say that myself and my girlfriend both think you are very pretty, and we should all hang sometime.
I believe Luke has a similar arrangement with Benicio Del Toro.
JOE: Who would play you in your biopic?
Otherkin (Luke): Tom Cruise is 5’7, isn’t he? Although if his performance in 90s psychological thriller 'Far and Away' is anything to go by, he’ll probably need to practice that accent. Fuck it, I’ll go with Morgan Freeman.
JOE: What person, dead or alive, would you like to go for a pint with?
Otherkin (Luke): Gandhi. He was a divil for a drop of the dark shtuff.
JOE: Do you have a doppelgänger?
Otherkin (David): I actually have two. My twin brother is probably the more obvious of the pair, but I've also got a Korean double named Min-Soo. He's wild!
JOE: What Game Of Thrones character should they kill next?
Otherkin (David): I don't watch Game of Thrones, but our Rob Summons thinks "they should probably off the fat guy, you know who i'm talking about". That's a direct quote and you can take it to the bank.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RtFrTmpYrQ
JOE: Have you ever sent or received a nude photo?
Otherkin (David): Mum and Dad, you're probably going to want to stop reading right about now.
There may or may not have been a period in my life in which I sent a lady Snapchat drawings incorporating a certain part of my anatomy.
On one such occasion this part of me may or may not have been shown as the mast of a sail boat.
JOE: The age-old dilemma - would you rather fight a shark on land or a gorilla in under water?
Otherkin (Luke): What dilemma? The shark can’t do a thing on land except flop around. If anything, being underwater would make the gorilla more likely to thrash me into sweet, bloody oblivion.
JOE: Best/worst chat-up line?
Otherkin (Luke): Holy God, I shouldn't even be talkin' to you. This is like a disfigured rat chattin' up a unicorn! - Whether this is best or worst is really a matter of a opinion.
JOE: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve allowed one of your mates to do?
Otherkin (Luke): More than one door in our house has been relieved from its hinges by allowing my friends to do stupid things.
JOE: Describe the colour yellow to a blind person?
Otherkin (David): Yellow is bright and happy like Frank Reynolds attitude in that episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Bill Ponderosa tries to drink himself to death. It's always curved, like a banana.
JOE:How did you end up following your favourite sports team?
Otherkin (David): When Eric Cantona drop kicked that dude in the chest it pretty much made me fall in love with Manchester United. All hail King Eric.
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