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24th Jan 2014

Can’t Buy Me Love: Billionaire doubles ‘marriage bounty’ for any man who will marry his lesbian daughter

The big eejit.

JOE

Silly, silly man with too much money wishes his daughter would rather marry a gold-digger than be a happy lesbian.

The big eejit.

A Hong Kong billionaire who had previously offered €48 million to any man who would marry his gay daughter has now suggested that he may double his ‘marriage bounty’, local media has reported.

According to The Independent, shipping magnate and property developer Cecil Chao Sze-tsung had offered a reward to any man who could persuade his daughter Gigi to marry him (marry the suitor, not the Dad), despite the fact she had already entered into a civil partnership with her female partner of almost nine years, Sean Eav.

The potty-brained Papa went on to say that “anyone who comes along to pursue Gigi, we will give them a moderately deluxe life”.

After his first offer attracted 20,000 unsuccessful responses, the 77-year-old has reportedly told the Malaysian newspaper Nanyang Siang Pau that he would consider doubling the money offered to HK $1billion which works out as roughly €94 million.

One billion dollars you say?

The mixed-up muppet also stated that it is “not too late” to change his daughter’s mind on her sexuality, saying that “I don’t want to interfere with my daughter’s private life. I only hope for her to have a good marriage and children as well as inherit my business”.

YES CRAZY MAN, BECAUSE SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS BASED ON WHO YOUR DADDY PAYS TO WOO YOU.

His daughter, Ms Chao, who sounds like the most sane, patient woman in the world commented, “I don’t think my dad’s offering of any amount of money would be able to attract a man I would find attractive. I would be happy to befriend any man willing to donate huge amounts of money to my charity Faith in Love, provided they don’t mind that I already have a wife.”

*JOE frantically scribbles a marriage CV on the nearest napkin*

“Third and lastly, thank you Daddy, I love you too.”

Fair play to Ms Chao for remaining resolute in the face of her father’s farcical actions and, here at JOE, we wish her all the very best for the future in her clearly happy relationship with Sean Eav.

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