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Published 19:00 25 Aug 2018 BST
Updated 21:47 25 Aug 2018 BST
Point well made and an entirely fair request.
2. Stirring The Pot
She doesn't even want them to call her. You're just bored.
3. Crime Updates
Strange how modern crime manifests itself. Chronic attempt at a lie, but it's still better than having to beg for a lend of something.
4. Intimidation Tactics
Short, concise and to the point. Your work here is done.
5. Begging With Integrity
As we all know, the best way to get what you want is to insult someone. Right?
6. Scaremongering
You haven't done it before, but they don't know that.
7. Empty Threats
There's no dog video. But they're going to spend the next few days trying to work out what you're talking about.
8. Household Information
Truthfully you couldn't hear a thing, but it's important to keep these morons on their toes.
9. Begging With Integrity Part 2
Sometimes you really want something, but you can't sacrifice your morals in order to get it.
10. Disguising Banter
Dirty tactics are sometimes the last but most fruitful resort.
11. Love Declarations
Translation: This is as close as I will ever get to saying that I love you.
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