Saturday!
The best day? Maybe.
That’s the kind of endless debate that could ruin your very day, so we’ll sidestep that and get to the point.
Here is a considered rundown of the most eyebrow-raising cinematic options on your TV screens this Saturday 2 March.
Warning; some of these are not good (yeah, we know it says ‘best’ up there) but still, why not, eh?
Jurassic World – ITV2 – 7.40pm
Tailor-made for those who saw Jurassic Park when they were about 10 years old.
Independence Day: Resurgence – Channel 4 – 8pm
Want to see a beloved sci-fi film from the 90s make an embarrassing comeback?
Here you go.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World – SyFy – 9pm
Michael Cera rocks out in this visual, fast-moving pop culture smackdown feast from the addled mind of Edgar Wright.
Look out for Chris Evans smartly hamming up action movie clichés along the way.
The Bank Job – TCM – 9pm
Jason Statham heists it up.
Heat – Virgin Media Two – 9pm
In all honesty, you should just watch Heat and forget everything else tonight.
Why? Because it’s Heat, for christ’s sake. Al Pacino and Robert De Niro engage in cat-and-mouse cops-and-robbers thrills in a ridiculously long movie that sometimes becomes the loudest thing you’ve ever heard.
It’s a classic. Watch it.
X-Men: Apocalypse – RTÉ 2 – 9.20pm
Most definitely not a classic, but worth it for Michael Fassbender yet again expertly bringing the conflicted character of Magneto to life, and also for Oscar Isaac’s hilariously OTT performance.
Glassland – TG4 – 9.45pm
Jack Reynor, Toni Collette and Will Poulter shine in this unflinching Irish drama.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrQgJCmEuJo
Clip via Movieclips Indie
Creed – ITV – 10.40pm
Perfectly-realised extension of the Rocky franchise that introduces a new hero that we can all root for.
The Devil’s Advocate – TCM – 11pm
Not one, but two shots of Shouty Al Pacino for your Saturday night.
Terminator Genisys – Film 4 – 11.15pm
Another one for the ‘only worth recommending so you can point and laugh at it’ file as the Terminator franchise ties itself in knots in this weird ‘Greatest Hits’ pastiche.
Notes on a Scandal – BBC One – 12.05am
Judi Dench’s veteran teacher befriends new hire Cate Blanchett, but there’s something more sinister going on…
Begin Again – RTÉ One – 12.20am
Keira Knightley gets his winsome singer-songwriter on opposite Mark Ruffalo in a comedy drama from the man who brought you Once and Sing Street.
Blair Witch – Channel 4 – 12.20am
It really is a night for undercooked sequels, isn’t it?
Blair Witch could and should have been great. Get the guys who wrote and directed You’re Next and The Guest, give them the Blair Witch licence and get them to reboot it for a new generation.
But nah, let’s just do a straight remake instead.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
