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The Word in Westeros: JOE’s review of last knight’s Game of Thrones episode

Published 15:55 12 May 2015 BST

Updated 18:02 11 Jun 2015 BST

Paul Moore
The Word in Westeros: JOE’s review of last knight’s Game of Thrones episode

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Being that we're absolute geeks maesters on all things Game of Thrones, we've decided to do a weekly recap of the best moments from the most recent episode. Last week saw a mini meltdown in Mereen as the Sons of the Harpy rose up against Dany's army of Unsullied in a bloody brawl that kick-started the season. Bronn and Jamie continued their quest to be the best mismatched pairing in the show's history as they landed in Dorne, while the Faith Militant were enacting their own 'down with this sort of thing' type of justice in King's Landing. As ever, SPOILER ALERT! Here are some of our favourite moments from this week's episode.

Master of Quotes - Best Line

Maester Aemon to Jon Snow: "You will find little joy in your command, but with luck you will find the strength to do what needs to be done." AemonJon

The North Remembers - Best Scene

Just like a child that was raised by Littlefinger and the Mountain, last week's show was an absolute orgy of violence, so it came as no surprise to see the characters taking their hands away from any swords, spears and arrows. We always like seeing Maester Aemon on screen because he's like that wise old uncle that everyone wants to chat to, especially if you live in a 700 foot wall that's made of ice. Jon's make-or-break conversation with Dolorous Edd proved that he is in fact learning something new every week. https://twitter.com/BeautyBrienne/status/597569994440990722 It seems that Dany hasn't taken the news of Barristan’s death well and the selection process of who was going to be a human whopper on a dragon flame grill was delicious. The haunting imagery, eerie atmosphere and ominous melancholy that accompanied Tyrion and Jorah's journey into Valyria was a creepy joy to behold. Much like the city itself, you knew that they were doomed to fail, but the image of Drogon flying over the original realm of the Targaryen's was a lovely touch. There was a standout winner this week though and it involves a welcome return to those awkward dinner scenes that we love so much. Where else would you see a petrified bride that's reunited with her stepbrother - who she thinks has murdered her two actual brothers - only for the poor girl to learn that her one-time sibling has in fact been tortured, castrated and now placed in her wedding party? Awkward. RamsaySansa Every character in this scene was jostling for dominance and it was wonderful to see. The Boltons could yet turn out to be the most fecked up family in Game of Thrones. That's saying a lot.

Valar Morghulis - Best Death

Greyscale is a very real disease in Westeros that needs to be treated with patience, understanding and... eh, actually feck that, because those Stone Men were absolutely terrifying.  It's the fact that Lord Friendzone and Tyrion couldn't even touch them that made the scene more intense than a hundred royal weddings in the Seven Kingdoms. You would have to have a heart of stone not to feel for poor Jorah though, as his clock has already started ticking down. He probably feels like he has hit rock bottom because he hasn't even won this week's best death. Dany. Justice. Dragons. Wonderful. Sub-category: Death count - 1 head of a Mereen noble family, 1 anonymous Stone Man, the metaphorical killing of Jon Snow the boy.

GoT X-Rated

We have high hopes for Ramsay Bolton's stag do, especially after seeing how seriously he takes his recent engagement to Sansa. That sex scene with Miranda was more uncomfortable to watch since the puppets in Team America.

Mother of Dragons - Best Beast Scene

You wait four years for some firey dragon justice and just when you're about to curse the gods, both old and new, the Khaleesi finally embraces beast mode by making the heads of every major family in Mereen collectively crap themselves. Drogon may be the dragon that's angriest at his mam, but that fleeting glimpse of him flying over the grey skies of Valyria was stunning.

Sticks and Stones and Swords - Best Insult

Tyrion to Jorah :  

You Know Nothing - The WTF Moment

Even by Westeros wedding standards the engagement of Dany to Hizdahr zo Loraq was a bit odd. Then again, if Dany tried to kill us via dragon fire, we still couldn't compain. In fact, we would probably be the happiest men in the realm if we could call ourself Mr Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea.  'H to da Hizdahr' might yet be one of the families that are conspiring against her so we shall wait and see how this pans out. Once again, it's the journey through Valyria that takes the accolade because it had everything. Westeors history, flying dragons, cryptic ruins, incurable disease, creepy villains, great action, class dialogue and a brilliant cliffhanger.  https://twitter.com/GoT_Tyrion/status/597873848680251392

Stealing The Throne - This Week's Best Character

With Joffrey gone, there was a large void to fill for Game of Thrones fans because we all love having someone to to hate. Step forward Ramsay Bolton, because the performance of Iwan Rheon is so pitch-perfect that it feels like he's actually under your skin, hopefully not by flaying though. The scene when he asked Reek to hold his cup was so tense that it could make even the Stone Men's skin crawl while his relationship with Roose is wonderfully fecked up. It all could have turned out so much differently though for the actor who plays the North's most hated bastard.

From Wicklow to Westeros - Where did Aiden Gillen's Irish accent land?

Lord Baelish had the week off so we presume he was either 1) travelling to King's Landing, 2) attending to his brothel that has been raided or 3) encouraging people to Vote Yes. Here's the answer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAyLSGbCUNk

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The Word in Westeros: JOE's review of last knight's Game of Thrones episode