Power ranking the very best supporting characters from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Listen up jabronis. Do you agree?
Hey-oooo! As you may know, the new series of the superb It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is now available to watch on Netflix and with this in mind, we've decided to take a look at some of the best supporting characters from the world's funniest TV show.
We guarantee that you'll get off on this list. Don't you guys want to get off? C'mon, follow our lead. We're gonna get off together.
Because of the implication: The pharmacist was the inspiration for the D.E.N.N.I.S system. That alone guarantees her a place on our list. It's just a shame that Dennis felt compelled to frighten the shit out of her.
Clip via - Ryne Urbanowicz
21) Lil' Kevin
Because of the implication: Sweet Dee's rapper boyfriend is just like most people because he likes popcorn, drinking juice boxes, and wearing his T-shirt backwards. Just don't mention the fact that Kevin might actually be retarded though.
20) Frank's random assortment of Asian friends
Because of the implication: We love the fact that Frank was happy to divulge every disgusting detail of his life to a bunch of Japanese tourists.
It's also very likely that some of Frank's gambling buddies from Paddy's Pub are also related to those "good men" that died in his Vietnamese sweat shop.
Clip via - Matt B
19) Duncan & Z
Because of the implication: We always wondered what Charlie and Frank did underneath the bridge, you know, when they weren't scavenging for denim and crabs.
18) Hwang (Frank's landlord)
Because of the implication: Those staring matches between the two men are epic, plus there's so much mystery surrounding this "lousy son of a bitch" that makes Frank so mad.
17) Ben the soldier
Because of the implication: He's a superb guest on a podcast, plus he's also happy to get his face painted like a "god damn frog person with no ulterior motive".
16) The Maniac
Because of the implication: Despite the squirrels that are in his head, he'll always be best damn salesman that Invigaron ever had.
RIP "Rowdy" Roddy Piper.
15) Sun Li
Because of the implication: Forget the waitress, she's perfect for Charlie.
They both hate mean people, they both like pizza, and they both think that kissing is icky. I mean, this 12 year old girl even saw Charlie grab a hot pocket out of the trash eat it.
She has no thoughts on that.
Clip via - mokduk
14) Mac's Dad
Because of the implication: The man doesn't blink. Ever.
Yes, he can be a bit intense, especially when it comes to getting people to shove heroin up their asses, but he's just a misunderstood soul. After all, he did invent the greatest Christmas tradition of all-time.
13) The Lawyer
Because of the implication: He's the perfect catalyst that inspires 'The Gang' to go even darker and crazier with their schemes. He really needs to brush up on his bird law though.
Because of the implication: Frank managed to beat Tiger Woods for the affections of his favourite whore.
To paraphrase her best quote "this list was tighter than dickskin", but we had to include her somewhere. In Frank's own words, his future bride to be was "good shit".
11) Artemis Dubois
Because of the implication: What's not to love about someone that's happy to tell strangers about her bleached asshole? She's also the world's leading expert on poop.
10) Bonnie Kelly
Because of the implication: She's always on Santa Claus' nice list. We wonder why?
9) Country Mac
Because of the implication: Any man that can perform an ocular patdown, choke someone out with a t-shirt and perfect some bad-ass stunts is clearly a hero.
8) The Ponderosas
Because of the implication: Ok, we understand that it's hard to look past Maureen's dead tooth and Bill's rampant use of alcohol, drugs and bath salts, but hear us out.
Dennis' ex-wife may have gone 'full cat' in Season 11, but we love this family because Bill's prepared to get 'shithoused' at weddings while Maureen somehow managed to make Dennis have feelings again.
It's a Philadelphia miracle.
Clip via - blindspy
7) Gail the snail
Because of the implication: Nobody wants to salt the snail, but she gives you no choice. The garbage pail cousin makes our list because she's fond of medical marijuana, glow sticks and giving Frank a handy under the table.
Yes, we know that she's the worst, but she's also willing to do shots and get crazy.
6) Pepper Jack
Because of the implication:
Pepper Jack love Fraggle Rock.
Pepper Jack only allows bitches to speak when spoken to.
Pepper Jack made Dee one of his best hoes.
Pepper Jack's about to cut somebody.
Pepper Jack love the third person.
Clip via - Best TVClips
Because of the implication: Anything goes with Dennis' German roommate because he's a key player in the anonymous, three's company, sex party scene.
Who wouldn't love to have a roommate that arranges for people to use "Zeeee glorrrry hole!".
It's just a shame that Americans are so uptight.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh!
4) The Waitress
Because of the implication: An on-and-off again alcoholic that's frequently stalked by an illiterate and depraved janitor, it's the greatest love story of our time. Let's just ignore the fact that she has banged Dennis, Frank and done "mouth stuff" with Mac.
The Waitress makes the top five because she's the inspiration for the greatest play that has ever been written.
Clip via - ptrckclnc
3) The McPoyles
Because of the implication: Unibrows, milk and molestation are prominent in Philadelphia's most fecked-up family, but Ryan and Liam's efforts to keep the McPoyle bloodline "pure and clean for a thousand years" are very admirable.
They've also managed to corner the emerging market of video store rentals and perfect the art of fork stabbing their enemies, two very impressive feats considering Liam has no depth perception. Bump it.
Clip via - ILoveYourBox
2) Rickety Cricket
Because of the implication: God bless Matthew Mara because all of the following has happened to him;
He ate horse shit, became addicted to cocaine and crack, was left homeless, frequently tea-bagged by Mac and Dennis, saw a Chinese man steal his kidney, was shot in the hand, caught severe ringworm, lost his faith, had a hatchet thrown at him, participated in a dog orgy, ended up with a slashed throat and saw his face burned.
This street rat is a human punching bag that keeps coming back for more. We love him.
1) Jack Kelly
Because of the implication: He seems to really enjoy intense family interventions, but there's so much more to Philadelphia's finest lawyer.
Not only will he defend your right for "tasteful nude photography", he'll also take pictures of your hands for his own personal website.
FYI, it's perfectly acceptable for uncles to "pal around, go nuts and get crazy" with their nephews. Have you ever seen wrestling? It's what uncles and nephews do, apparently.
Clip via - The Bees Knees
Ladies and gents, a round of applause for Jack Kelly. Philadelphia's finest supporting character.